Dillian's legacy for disabled children

“This all started when we became foster parents in 2011,” Christina Gray said.

Both her and her husband had been in the Oregon Army National Guard and deployed to Iraq together. When they returned home, they decided to get involved with the local foster care and potentially adopt.

“When we got home, we started the paperwork, anticipating to have six months to get back into the swing of every day life,” Gray said. “Three days later we received a call for our first placement.”

They didn't start fostering medically fragile children until a friend of theirs, who also served as a foster parent, asked them to provide care for a little boy.

“From that point forward, we've just done medically fragile,” Gray said.

He didn't smile, didn't laugh

Dillian Gray entered their home through the foster system at four months old in April of 2015.

“With the drug epidemic the way it is, we are seeing more kids with disabilities,” Gray said.

When Dillian came to them, both her and her husband were already taking care of five kids with significant medical needs. In Dillian's case, he was diagnosed with shaken baby syndrome, a diagnoses given to him by a medical professional.

“When we got him, we had no idea what his long term prognosis would be,” Gray said. “Sometimes kids like him bounce back, some don't.”

However, after he came to them, he developed seizures and doctors discovered he was cortically blind and deaf, where the signals would stop at his brain stem.

“It was like having a television that can't plug in,” Gray described. “The eyes and brain and ears worked, but weren't connecting. He was near vegetative. He didn't roll over, had no cognitive movement or progression. His quality of life was limited. He didn't smile, didn't laugh.”

Then in April 2017, Dillian was placed into hospice care. The Gray's adopted him in May.

Dillian died in July.

“When he was placed on hospice, we decided to use that time to figure out how to continue his legacy because even though he didn't have an opportunity to do things most kids do, he changed the way medically fragile foster care is done in our community,” Gray said. “He was the type of kid, when you met him, where he impacted your life. Maybe it was the sad story, maybe it was because he had the best hair ever because he had a natural fohawk, but there was a way about him even though he couldn't communicate.”

During Dillian's time in the foster system, he highlighted flaws for kids like him, programs that were lacking.

“The state worked with us to come up with a care plan for him, while we had him,” Gray said. “Even here in Coos County, where we're away from major resources, we have kids in our home from all over the state because we have people used to accessing the needed resources and how to navigate the system for kiddos like him.”

Creating a legacy

As his mom, Christina wanted to do more for him than let go.

“He didn't get a childhood, so what poetic justice to give a playground to kids in our community where they can play with their parents regardless of their ability level,” she said.

She and her husband have four children in their home who are wheelchair-bound, which means they can't go to the park or the beach.

“We can push them up to the playground, where what? They can watch other kids have fun?” she asked. “These kids deserve to be a kid as well and enjoy what a playground has to offer.”

Currently, ADA requirements for playgrounds are very minor. As long as there is a pathway leading to a park, it is ADA accessible. Dillian's Place will be 100 percent all-inclusive and accessible, meaning that the park will have wheelchair access and mobility surfaces throughout. It will have playground grass, which is a synthetic material but solid like a rubberized surface and the playground structures will be painted softer colors so children with sensory input issues won't be overstimulated.

There will be roller slides instead of plastic ones, preventing a static response for kids with cochlear implants.

“Every structure has a wheelchair access or a place to transfer a child from a wheelchair to the structure,” Gray said. “There will be a safe place to sit or to be harnessed in for kids with strength or stability issues and need a more confined seating arrangement.”

Each and every aspect of the park has been looked at to address the needs of medically fragile children. The Grays also worked with the local Autism Society, a special needs educator and Ross Recreations, a park company in Portland, to establish the needs for as many children as possible.

The goal is to open it in April 2018, which is child abuse awareness month.

In addition, the new Child Welfare building is going in across the street from the new park, meaning parents and kids in the welfare system can use the park.

“Instead of being stuck to a cubicle or a room for visitations, they can come to the park,” Gray said.

Donations are being accepted through www.dilliansplace.com.

“The need in our community for foster parents is so high,” Gray said. “We have one of the highest percentages per capita of foster kids in care in the state. Exposure to these issues is a necessary thing because everyone can do something.”